Hello. Two months have passed since my last blog. Due to my hectic academic schedule this past few months, I have been inactive in here. Oh well. I am writing this thing right now because I have something I think I like to share here in my space. Well, I think it's my first time to write about my lovelife :-p
Actually, I just got home from school because Lenten season has already started and we have to say goodbye for exams for a while. Travelling has been very hard because LRT and buses are crowded, and roads are full of vacationists out to explore and homecomers who will spending the rest of the week in their hometowns, like me. Even Balintawak Toll Gates of NLEX are busy handling the quantity of travellers.
Continuing, actually, I fell asleep while I was on my way home and I had a dream. Well, I'm in my CS124 class and my prof is Sir S. (Let's just call him this way because I don't want any of my professors to be directly addressed in my blogs.) Let's have a background first of my CS124 class. (I think is going to be a long story.)
My CS124 class happens every Friday this semester. Well, it is a normal class for most of us, but not for me. I am always to teased by Sir S to a certain blockmate (let's call him J), and I'm always irritated by it. Sometimes, even out of nowhere he will suddenly relate a certain concept to love, then love to me and then the teasing will follow next. I really do not know the whole story why Sir S relates me to J but I can only treat him as a friend, nothing more.
Continuing from my dream, like I said, I am in my CS124 class, and the whole class is there, and Sir S is there. He started teasing me again to the same person. Then he suddenly asked me, "E Nicole, ano ba talaga ang status mo? Wala ka bang crush? (Translation: But Nicole, what is your real status right now? Don't you have any crushes?)" Then I suddenly ask myself. Do I really have one? I do not know what to say at all. (Another substory. Sorry)
Well, two weeks ago, I had a crush on blockmate of mine, but not the same blockmate that Sir S is talking about (let's call him M). I feel guilty for it because I told J that I will never like a blockmate ever. I think I had been unfair to him and he may think that what I just said was just an alibi for me to reject him. I really don't expect myself to fall for M. Actually, it started when we had an overnight for our student council election because we are the ones who will manage the website that will be used. I had bonding with the other members of the team, including him, and it was fun! And since semester is ending, machine problems are needed to be coded again. I was amazed of his skills because he created his own algorithm even there is one available in the internet. Then he and his friends danced to the tune of "Harlem Shake" and uploaded the video to YouTube. :)) I had my bestfriend watch the video and she said that the guy (pertaining to M) is somehow attractive. That's when I started to think about him and found myself having a crush on him the day after. Well, we had a funny chat about random things one night but I will not detail it here because the next part will be a sad one. :(
Let's say there's a close friend of mine in the block (let's call her E). I call E as "Nay" (means Mommy) because we had a family tree when we were first years and she turned out to be my mom. I share to her some of my kilig moments because some of my crushes are from our college and she knows them and then she will tell me some facts about them. She's always close to me and I thought of something about her recently. Maybe she likes M but more than the like that I feel. Well, she's clingy and they are always together but recently, I noticed that they are coming to class together, and going home together, and the like. Now, E addresses M as "Boss". She is also tweeting sweet text messages about Boss. Well, I think that's enough for you to understand my current situation.
So, back to my dream. Sir S asked me and finally I came up with an answer, "Sir, wala po. Dati meron pero napag-isipan kong i-give up nalang kasi nakikita ko naman na yung kaibigan ko at saka siya ay nagpprogress naman. Kung masaya naman sila sa isa't-isa bakit ko pa sila pipigilan. Ako lang yung magmumukhang masama. (Translation: Sir, I do not have any. I used to have one but I decided to give up because I can see progress between my friend and him. If they are happy with each other, why would I stop them? I will just turn out to be the bad one.). Then Sir S smiled like he wanted to say that I made the right choice. After the class my closest friends hugged me (because they know what has been bothering me since) and I was really happy that I finally let go of this unrequited feelings.
Then I woke up to the tune of SHINee's Dazzling Girl playing in my iPod, and it gave me this happy feeling. Well, I think I want to thank M for making me experience butterflies in my stomach :) and to E, well, I valued our friendship more so let's just stay friends forever :))
Til my next post. Happy Easter to everyone :)
